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Its funny how the things you once thought mattered so much to you dont seem to matter much anymore, and how the things that never used to matter can now matter so much.
and who would have imagined that the person who can make you smile every single day would also be the one who can cause you to cry yourself to sleep every single night? who would have thought that someone who was once a stranger can become someone so special? we meet many people in our lives. some stay as strangers, some become acquaintances, and the rest are friends whom we choose to keep in our lives. yet, people come, people go. who's here to stay? who's worth keeping? who can we let go? who can we trust?
for me, i appreciate everyone who comes into my life. everyone i meet along the way has made an impact, make a difference in my life. and yes, i guess im lucky enough to meet alot of people who care for me and love me. because i know that there are people who will be there for me unconditionally when i need them. if one day we start drifting apart, i know i'll keep trying to make things work. but with that said, i do get tired of trying as well. when you keep trying and things just doesnt work out. and probably, thats the time to let go because its just not worth it anymore.
theres so many "what ifs" and "if onlys" in our lives. what if i didnt go for it? what if i waited? if only this didnt happen. if only i did this. its inevitable that we will have regrets in our lives. but i remember something someone once told me. he told me that i should never regret anything that have once made me happy. its always easier said than done. but if we really think about it, its true. some choices we make in life may not have been the best. but we learn from these mistakes we make and we'll in turn grow and become a better person. im still learning and trying my best to look on the postive sides of things.
i read this line somewhere recently,"sometimes disappointment is inevitable. It’s what happens next that’s important." its true isnt it. there are bound to be disappointments in our lives. people are going to let us down, things are going to happen, we are going to fall down. but its how we choose to look at things. how we are going to stand up when we fall, how we are going to face all the situations.
there is something that has pretty much been on my mind all these while. perhaps i have just been sitting around just waiting for it to happen. and when it has happened, i realised that there are too many emotions building up inside me. theres a little part of me who's happy and maybe theres also a hint of disappointment. and thats probably because i have too much doubts. i never believed that good things will happen. i never believed that things will go my way. or should i say that i never believed that im lucky enough for good things to come my way. there's always a part of me that cannot trust. a part of me that feels that everything is too good to be true. i should probably learn that i do deserve some of the things i have. and be thankful for them.
and perhaps this time, i deserve to be happy.
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